What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is the pattern of behaviour of the abuser which is to control his/her partner.

It’s known that Domestic Violence affects 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men within their lifetime and it can take place in many forms of abuse. When people hear or see the word Domestic Violence most of them think about the physical abuse that the victim experiences, for example, hitting, punching, kicking, shoving and more. But there are many types of abuse not just violence. And these are:

  • Controlling behaviour.
  • Psychological.
  • Emotional.
  • Verbal.
  • Financial.
  • Intimidation.
  • Sexual.
  • Neglect.
  • Threats.

 

Domestic Violence can happen to anyone of any age, gender, religion, social background, sexuality, or ethnicity. While Domestic Violence can occur in all relationship types.

In most severe cases of Domestic Violence (although every case DV is serious). The abuse could lead to the perpetrator taking their victims life. and the victims/survivors come away with guilt, shame, stress, low self esteem and depression.

Types of Abuse:

  • Power.
  • Physical/mental.
  • Sexual.
  •  Psychological.
  • Verbal.
  • Intimidation.
  • Emotional.
  • Financial.

Physical– punching, kicking, choking, drowning, withholding mmedications, slapping, shoving, hair pulling, burning/cigarette burns, attempted murder/ murder.

Verbal – Swearing,belittling, put downs, name calling, and shouting.

Sexual – Rape and other forms of sexual assaults.

Financial- keeping short of money, controlling all the money.

Psychological– Being in control, threats, degradation, disability/exhaustion, distorted perspective, isolation (not allowed too see family or friends), threats to harm their children or pets.

Below I have added descriptions to some in psychological:

Isolation: 

  • The victim is made to feel like they are on their own.
  • Made to feel ashamed.
  • Made to feel as though they have failed.
  • Locked in.
  • No contact with their family and friends.
  • Followed or stopped from going to work or college.
  • Feeling of helplessness.
  • Obsessive behaviour.
  • Being ignored.
  • Withholding money.
  • Language barriers.
  • Taking their phone or cutting off the line.

Distorted Perspective:

  • Being told that you’re a failure.
  • That it’s your entire fault.
  • That there are no other options.
  • Told you’re a bad mother/father.
  • Believing them.
  • Abuse being an accepted part of his/her perspective.
  • Belief that he/she will find you anywhere.
  • Moved objects and then says that you did it.
  • That no one will believe you.
  • That abuse is perfectly natural.
  • That he/she has all the power over you.

Disability/ Exhaustion: 

  • Not allowed to sleep.
  • Depending on drugs/medications(his or hers).
  • No access to medical care.
  • Doing everything extra well.
  • Obsessive behaviour(being made to clean over and over).
  • Anticipating trouble.

Degradation:

  • Makes you feel worthless.
  • Humiliation in public or in private.
  • Being stripped of clothing.
  • Being urinated on.
  • Made to look ridiculous in front of others.
  • Personal criticism/ insults.
  • Jealousy.
  • Being spat on.
  • Made to eat disgusting things.
  • Forced to sleep on the floor.
  • Being beaten in front of others (including children).

Enforcing Trival Demands:

  • Placing objects back in exact same place.
  • Made to do trival things all the time.
  •  Enforcing his/her routine.

Threats: 

  • Threats to harm their children, family, friends, or pets.
  • To have him/her deported.
  • To withhold money.
  • To kill him/herself or their victims.
  • To find him or her where ever he/she goes.
  • To destroy their possessions.
  • To take his/her children away or take to have them tajen away.

Displays of Total Power: 

  • Telling him/her that there is no escape.
  • Finding him/her if they do escape.
  • Physically preventing escape.
  • Hitting him/her in front of others and them not intervening.
  • Removing his or her rights.
  • Having someone believe him/her over the victim.
  • Being kept on the edge by his or her unpredictability.

Domestic Violence is a serious crime and it needs to be stopped to an end.

 

Thank you for reading!

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Welcome!

Thank you for visiting my blog site. First of I’ll introduce myself, my name is Carys, I’m 22 years old and I’m a survivor of Domestic Violence.

The reason I have set up this website to make awareness to Domestic Violence and signs and help available for yourself or anyone you may know.

Domestic Violence can affect anyone. At any age and any background. The more people that know about Domestic Violence the more we can put a stop to it.